Home, Language and Difference

I've always been told that I talk too much. I can't deny it. I talk too loud, I don't always think before I speak, and I'm frequently a victim to spoonerisms. I'm embarrassed to say that every day, I find a new way to put my foot in my mouth.

I guess that's why I love public speaking so much, and one of the reasons I'm studying communications (Public Relations). It feels great to know that I can take my predisposition for speaking and actually hone it into something professional and effective. Years ago, when I was in high school, I participated in a oratory competition. It was the first time I had ever done anything like that, and I was representing my Honor Society Chapter. Needless to say, I was extremely nervous. How else would a first timer feel? I wanted to make everyone proud, but first timers don't win first place. 

They can, however, tie for second place. 

Last week's English conference reminded me of this experience. After years of not participating in any sort of public speaking activity, doing the "Interrogating Identity: Home, Language and Difference” felt like a breath of fresh air. 

Three of my friends were able to come and see me, as well as my father. I was the last one to speak. I had practiced the speech in my mind, but I still messed up some words every now and then. While I was speaking, I feel like my five senses augmented: I noticed small details in my paper and in the crowd, I was more conscious of my breathing, I could hear my heart beating, and I was acutely aware of how I was using my mouth to pronounce each word. 

I also became very self-conscious of that essay I had written weeks ago. Even though I knew it had been peer-reviewed, it didn't feel as great as all those other essays that had been presented. But then again, maybe I'm being too hard on myself. It definitely sparked discussion, which for me is the most important thing. 

After we were all done, it was time for the Q&A portion of the panel. Two professors, as well as one of my friends, made great questions. We talked about culture, about the Internet, about Jamaica Kincaid, and about Puerto Rico, among other things. 

In my two years of college, I have been to many conferences and panels. Sometimes they were extremely interesting. Sometimes they nearly bored me to sleep. Now that I've had the experience of being behind that podium, I realize the importance of always paying attention to the speakers, no matter what. Talking in front of people can be fun and dynamic, but it is never easy. When we get bored, it's normal to give into the temptation of drifting off in thought or of playing with our phones. But when people talk, it's important to listen. 

Whoever walks up to a podium and starts speaking -whether it's to a huge crowd or a handful of college students- deserves to be respected. There are many tips online about how to prepare a public speech. The suggestions are always the same: public speaking requires skill, practice, and professionalism. If I learned one thing from this experience it's that it also requires something else: guts.