What does it take to spark an internal journey?

I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel's sake. The great affair is to move.  

   Ever since I was 13 or 14 years old, I have felt that my life is too stationary for my taste, although I am aware that in reality that's not entirely true. I was born and raised here in Puerto Rico, but lived for two and a half years in Brazil. Additionally, my mother is Venezuelan, so as a child I also spent many summers visiting my relatives. Growing up, my family was always planning some sort of trip, even if it was simply to visit my great-grandmother in Mayagüez.  

   However, as I grew up, family trips became less and less frequent. With every passing year, I was filled with more wanderlust. I began to feel mentally stuck. Looking back, I sort of convinced myself that any potential internal journeys were tied to whether or not I took an actual, physical trip. I had spent years watching movies about characters who travel and have amazing adventures. How could I grow as a person if I always stayed in one place? As I was about to learn, I would eventually go on a vacation that would, indeed, spark an internal reflection. Yet it wasn't going to be the kind of reflection I originally had in mind.   

   Last December, I went on a vacation with my family to Ohio. We rented a cabin and had a family reunion with almost twenty of our relatives. While the experience itself was wonderful, it wasn't long until I felt as if something was missing. We got settled in, exchanged gifts, caught up with each other's lives, and went shopping. Then, after a few days, the atmosphere was... calm. I was expecting this trip to be action-packed, and I was sure that we would have something new to do every day. Yet looking back, we spent most of our free time inside the cabin, playing board games. 

   

 

   In other words, after a while the vacation felt exactly like being at home. I'd been so sure that the simple fact that we were on vacation was going to change us. The trips I am able to take are so few and so far in between, that I hopped on a plane with the certainty that this experience was going to make me a more philosophical, complex human being. My internal journey hinged on the trip and on the experiences I would have while traveling.  

   For the longest time, I truly believed that personal growth always had to be tied with travel. Not because I thought that internal journeys couldn't occur without some sort of trip, but rather because I thought that exploring the world always affected people. It is now that I realize that some people travel the world without ever appreciating it, while others stay in one place their whole lives and still feel fulfilled.

    

   On the plane ride home, I came to terms with the fact that internal and external journeys are two completely different things. If I want to experience emotional and mental growth, it is up to me to read, write, and think my way through the journey.